Emma, Honestly

Up until 2015, when I met my now ex-boyfriend, I hated gin. Now, however, I'm pretty sure my body is 50% gin most weekends. Don't get me wrong, much like wine, I don't know anything about gin. I don't know what makes a good or bad gin, and I don't know what constitutes a cheap or pricey gin, all I know is I really love elderflower gin cocktails.

And if you're also a gin fan and want to make these for yourself, you're going to need:
- Gordon's Elderflower Gin (or a gin of your choice)
- Lemonade
- Tesco Apple and Elderflower Juice (or similar)
- Lemon and lime to garnish (not essential, I only do this when I'm feeling fancy)

If you're looking for measures, look elsewhere, because I don't use them. I just eyeball the gin, and then use equal amounts of juice and lemonade to top it up (which means my drinks get stronger as I become more drunk).

Trust me though, this cocktail is delicious, and it's my favourite thing to drink after a busy week at work!

Em

Dear Emma,
So today is your twenty-seventh birthday, huh? How are you feeling? Is it actually as bad as you thought it would be? I know you're worried about hitting this milestone, because hey, you're officially late twenties now, and you think that everybody expects you to have you shit together by now. But all you have is an overwhelming feeling of absolutely not having your shit together in any way, shape or form. That sucks, right? And why is that? Because you're not a homeowner? Because you haven't got an established career yet? Because you're the only one of your siblings who hasn't had any kids yet? Because hell, you're the only one of your siblings who hasn't managed to hold down a relationship, either.

But you know what else is different between you and your siblings? You've been working on you. Damn girl, you're training to be a doctor. A doctor. That's no mean feat. Think how hard you worked to get here. Of everything you put yourself through. Stop beating yourself up because you don't have much money in the bank and because you haven't found the love of your life yet. Because you know what, those things will come when the time is right, and actually, you're still young. That's right, I said it. You are young. So what you're nearly thirty. It's 2018. What does that even mean these days anyway? Take credit where credit is due and appreciate yourself for you, and all of the things you've achieved so far. And stop being a whiny little bitch because your (sometimes non-existent) love life is complicated. 

Go spend time with your family. Enjoy your day. Eat all of the cake and drink all of the wine. And embrace yourself for the badass bitch all your friends know you to be, and love you for. Don't stress girl. It will all work out in the end.

All my love, always,
You x

But there is something good in every day.

Mental health can be a bit of a minefield topic, and that's because everyone's experience of mental health is so different. 2018 started off really well for me - I didn't experience an "anxiety day" until late January, so by my count I was doing well. And then February happened. And February has been a roller-coaster. One week I felt fine, the next I was hit by three days of severe anxiety in a row (resulting in increased stress levels, what felt like never ending crying and dizziness, and a mere few hours of sleep each night). And then I woke up and it was gone, as quickly as it had started. But I wasn't out of the woods just yet, and just like that, a wave came over me all over again. February - you have exhausted me.

Everyone experiences mental health difficulties differently, but here are a few things that I find helpful when I'm having a bad day:
- Put down your phone - when I'm having a bad day I can get obsessive over social media, which makes me feel worse. I try and turn my phone off for at least an hour when I feel my anxiety coming on.
- Do the thing that's worrying you - avoidance of the thing that makes you anxious actually increases your anxiety as your world becomes smaller and more limited. If possible, take the bull by the horns and do that thing that's making you feel anxious.
- Develop a proper sleep routine - I struggle to sleep when my anxiety is bad, so I make sure that I have a calming tea, something like Clipper Snore and Peace, set aside an hour before bed to read a good book, and make my room as calming as possible.
- Avoid alcohol - alcohol is a depressant and makes me feel so much worse. I definitely can't go near the stuff when I'm feeling rubbish.
- Take a bath - I find this so helpful when I'm having a bad day. I run a really warm bath, add my favourite Lush Bubble Bar, put on some calming music and take time to let my mind chill out.

I hope you're all taking time out of the daily grind to take care of yourselves.

Em x